Why Can’t We Have Rational Disagreements Anymore?

The rise of political polarization and fake news has caused people to fear having conversations with others who oppose us

Kimberly Liang
8 min readFeb 14, 2021
Photo by Ben den Engelsen on Unsplash

Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve come to a realization. Our civilization is crumbling because of disagreements. We can’t have discussions without getting bogged down by the differences that we have with one another.

We see this with families breaking down due to misunderstandings and whole countries being pitted against each other because of political polarization.

I found even in my own life that disagreeing with someone else automatically meant that we were launching ourselves to a full-on heated argument or fight. What has happened to the productive conversations that we used to have about differing opinions? Why can’t we see where the other person is coming from?

Aren’t you seeing the same facts that I am?

Well, actually no. People are being bombarded with so many conflicting sources of information every single day that it is hard to distinguish true from false. Many of us subconsciously look for information that confirms what we already know, a phenomenon called confirmation bias. Social media feeds us only the things that we want to see and ignores the rest.

What is the cause of social unrest?

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We’ve all heard the term fake news. Over the past decade, fake news has been on the rise with newspapers opting for clickbait titles that spread conspiracy theories rather than the quote-on-quote “boring” truth.

Unfortunately, the fact of the matter is that fake news spreads 6 times faster than real news. In a world where shares, likes, and reactions are associated with success, news outlets and influencers have replaced their integrity with controversial statements that they know will get high engagement. Even if it means putting other people in danger.

We see this happening over and over again with people believing crazy things like how injecting hand sanitizer into your body will get rid of COVID-19 or how vaccines cause autism.

People are believing everything that they see on the internet. Do not become this person.

You might wonder: “why aren’t these people seeing the facts?” Don’t they see all the other countless news sources that bust these dangerous myths?

Unfortunately, we are all getting different information at all times. With personalized ads and cookies tracking every second of your behaviour on the internet, you are only being fed articles that you agree with because that is what you click on. Recommendation algorithms promote content that reflects your opinions so that they are able to make money off of your engagement.

To better process this, visualize that you’re online and you open up your Wikipedia page, which is one of the few places online where you see the same information as everyone else. Now, imagine if Wikipedia suddenly said that they were going to give a different customized definition of a subject for every single person which feeds into only their beliefs and they were paid to do that.

So, Wikipedia would be spying on you and they would calculate: “what can I do to get this person to change a bit on behalf of commercial interest?” It would then change the entry so that it feeds you a definition that benefits them. Suddenly, you get alternate versions of definitions for even the most trivial things: viruses are not dangerous, discrimination is okay, people don’t deserve basic human rights.

Unfortunately, this is already happening every day. This is exactly what’s happening on platforms like Instagram, Youtube, and Facebook. When you go into Google and type in “climate change is…,” you’re going to see different results based on where you live.

In certain cities, you’ll see that it autocomplete as with “climate change is a hoax” and others “climate change is causing the destruction of nature.” This doesn’t happen because of the truth of climate change, but where you happen to Googling from and the things that Google knows about your interests.

One of the few things online that we held in common used to be the things that we see and the definitions that we agreed on. However, this has changed drastically with the rise of social media platforms. Even two sets of friends who follow similar people will get different sets of updates and see completely different worlds of truth.

If we can’t even agree on basic definition of terms, how can we proceed with conversations on whether things are good or bad?

Why does it matter?

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We accept the reality of the world as the way it is presented to us. Over time, you’ll get the false sense that everyone is agreeing with you because everyone in your news feed sounds just like you.

Once this happens, you are now easily manipulated. You pick the cards that companies and news outlets want you to pick. We are all operating on a different set of facts and you lose the ability to reckon with or accept information that contradicts the world that you have created.

And you look over to the other side, thinking: “how can those people be so dumb? Look at this information that I’m constantly seeing. Isn’t all of this axiomatic to other people?”

Photo by Joshua Sukoff on Unsplash

You start getting major disagreements within society. Democrats saying that Republicans are ignorant and vice versa. We now have more than 1/3 of Republicans saying that Democratic parties are a threat to the nation and 1/4 of Democrats saying the opposite.

Media companies make money by selling our attention to advertisers. This extreme polarization keeps people online and demands our attention like a drug. We are naturally more drawn to controversial statements and remember things that surprise us as they fire more neurons in our brains.

Just think about the last time that you opened your Youtube to watch an informational video only to find yourself down a rabbit hole for the next 3 hours. Suddenly, you’re now watching someone talk about how the military is experimenting on aliens and you’re wondering: “how did I get here?”

The AI algorithm is designed to recommend very powerful topics that fit into some of your interests and once you click on one video, it will keep recommending it to you over and over again until you fall into another rabbit hole. It will recommend you the things that garner the most clicks from other people, meaning that you only get fed controversial views on hot topics.

Today, the algorithm might try to convince you that the Earth is flat, and tomorrow, that certain ethnic groups are dangerous. The sources that have spread coronavirus misinformation have amassed a jaw-dropping 53 million engagements.

This is fundamentally dangerous for our society. People are misled to commit crimes and even murder, believing that they are liberating other people from the bane of their existence.

Constructive conversations are out of the picture when we can’t agree on the facts of a situation. We live in a system that is based on a disinformation-for-profit business model and biases false news so that mega-corporations earn more money.

How can we fix this?

Photo by Javier Allegue Barros on Unsplash

Now that we know the root causes of the problem, we can fix this one bit at a time. It is important that we understand the algorithms behind the technology that we use every day and if you need to, block YouTube recommendations and limit your use of social media.

At the very least, make sure that you know that your view on the world can be unique from the people around you and it is because you are seeing different information. Don’t judge people who think distinctly from you.

Even when you do these things, you will still find people oppose you. Here are a few action items that you can take to respectively disagree without turning the conversation into a heated argument:

  1. Be cognizant of where you’re getting your information from. You are what you consume, so watch the news that you are reading and fact check it. Don’t just accept the first thing that you see. Take extra steps to
  2. Gather research from multiple different sources. Actively look for sources that contradict the information that you typically see. If you always look at a right-wing news outlet, go take a trip to the other side.
  3. Have strong opinions, loosely held. Don’t get attached to your ideas and your perception of reality. If someone disagrees with you, it does not mean that they hate you as a person. Separate yourself from your ideas.
  4. Find common ground with the other person. Try to understand where they are coming from and ask questions to show that you are there to have a productive conversation instead of just sticking to your point of view.
  5. Admit when you are wrong. Many people are too prideful and never want to surrender their opinion even when they know that they are incorrect. Know when it is time to capitulate.

News outlets and social media platforms are no longer paid to spread the truth — they get money from spreading misinformation. If we don’t take action now, we are placing civilization and democracy in danger. It is up to every single one of us to take responsibility for our assumptions and biases.

In a world where we are all seeing different versions of the truth, it might not hurt to visit the other side from time to time.

Key Takeaways

  • We are disagreeing more and more about our values and opinions. People are so attached to their idea of reality that they refuse to listen to opposing points of view.
  • Misinformation is causing us to believe chimeras and conspiracy theories that don’t hold any verity.
  • Fake news spreads at a rate that 6X faster on Twitter than traditional news, which makes the issue even worse. Quality information is not as popular as false controversial statements made to grab your attention.
  • Social media platform algorithms promote growth and engagement, not accuracy of information. Media outlets are financially disincentivized to tell the simple truth.
  • People don’t like conceding their opinions and have trouble finding common ground with others. This itself leads to resistance to change and dangerous social movements that tear down our society one post at a time.

Hey there! Thanks for making it to the end of the article. Before you click out…

My name is Kimberly Liang (just call me Kim ☺️) and I’m a 16-year-old innovator/business enthusiast who’s passionate about leading the future of civilization. I spend my time reading up on emerging technologies and training 10X mindsets.

If you want to find me:

Here’s my LinkedIn and Twitter. If you want to stay updated in my journey, sign up for my monthly newsletter!

Until next time 👋

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Kimberly Liang

I’m a 16-year-old innovator with huge ambitions to change the world. I research emerging technologies and neoteric mindsets to maximize my impact.